…Where did it all start?
How do I retrace the day I knew?
How did You capture my life?
How did You become my All, My love, my Highest Good and my Unending Need?
I didn’t want You. I cared nothing for You.
I had heard about You all my life.
They had blown me with You on the same spot for my entire life that You had absolutely no effect on me.
How did You then manage to draw me to You?
How did You awaken what was so dead?
How did You put a desire into what never desired You?
“We love because He first loved us.”(1 John 4:19)
Love me? How? Why? On what basis?
For goodness’ sake, You knew my story, You knew how I was filled with problems and a carrier of problems. You knew my reputation. You knew there was no good in me. You knew my language was lies and my ambition was vanity. You knew I was an unrepentant thief. A stain to the parents You brought me through. I didn’t care to be loved. I was comfortable being hated, disliked, misunderstood, gossiped about and lived life regardless.
But You loved me. It didn’t come from some supernatural revelation. You used the very mouth of the same flesh and blood who condemned me to confirm it.
I remember the very first time it ever came out from the mouth of one who was about to change my life for the worse for a crime I had committed which you miraculously delivered me out of. He said, “God’s love for you is love that will not you go.” That 11th day of December, 2015.
I didn’t understand the statement but it did sound nice. Regardless I continued pining in sin and in the life I lived yet You gave me multiple awkward miracles for the rest of that month. Why were You acquitting the guilty? Someone who cared nothing for You? Why were You so relentless with that individual?
As I accepted and enjoyed those miracles yet acknowledging nothing of You, another confirmation of this love came from another person who I cannot recall at this time, saying, “God is on your side.”
My side? Firstly, who is God? I probably knew of Him but certainly didn’t know Him but regardless, it sounded nice.
Then it happened that Love That Will Not Let Me Go did the ultimate miracle by putting a desire for Him in me through the one thing that never fails to draw His very elect to Him: Problems.
Whether problems of body, spirit, life or health, these means of problems that spur us to seek You certainly did for me.
To recount the journey that this has been with You with words will never suffice but all I say is THANK YOU for AMAZING GRACE.
Thank You for owning a rebel to Your will.
Thank You for loving me first because if You had not loved me first, I would forever have refused You.
Thank You for the gift of Your Son who is my All, my Hope, my Joy, my Succour and my Strength.
Thank You for the afflictions that have made me to learn Your statutes (Psalm 119:71).
Thank You that when I fear my faith will fail, I can look to that old rugged Cross and remember that this is an everlasting oath and covenant which is made by a faithful God who became sin for me.
Thank You for the assurance that You will hold me fast.
Thank You for Love that will not, can not and will never let me go.
Thank You for Jude 24.
HALLELUJAH! All I have is Christ!
HALLELUJAH! Jesus is my life!